KATHY GABLER—Self-image, self-worth and self-government cannot be determined by your IQ or strengths or looks or successes or skills, but neither are they determined by experiences or failures or opinions or lies. The thing that outranks all of that is your relationship with the Father and guaranteed daughtership or sonship. Identity, affirmation and boundaries are powerfully established through that relationship. Consider David. Even when his self-government completely crashed, it did not kill his self-image, nor did it steal his self-worth. Ding dong! If you refused to take care of your duties and obligations as a God-appointed leader of a nation while taking time out to plot murder, so you can commit adultery and end up with a child out of that affair, wouldn’t that crack your mirror and change the way you see yourself? Well, it didn’t seem to faze David, but I’m pretty sure the whole nation had a cracked view of David, especially when Nathan the prophet, publicly exposed all this. (2 Sam 12) Most people would have crawled in a hole to eat worms and die, but David took personal responsibility and owned his mess. That positioned him to repent (vs. 13). He didn’t act like Adam and try to hide after he sinned. Neither did he spend the rest of his life cowering as unworthy or continually seeking reassurance that God still accepted him. No, in fact, after he repented, he begged God to change His plan and spare the child born out of adultery. Who would have the nerve to ask God for mercy at this point? Even after his mirror cracked publicly, David didn’t allow condemnation to seep in the cracks. It wasn’t that he was a simple-minded optimist, nor was he thinking in terms of deserving this, he was simply convinced God loved him. None of David’s mess-ups ever got bigger to him than God. He remained “a man after God’s own heart,” who continued to see himself as a son just like God did. That’s relationship. That’s a strong family bond and some awesome sonship!